Sunday, May 10, 2009

Near Nude Street Performers, Fulham Football at Craven Cottage and a Walk through East London

God has a sense of humor.

The second that I hit "send" on my last blog, the weather instantly got better and has been sunny ever since. The past three days have been busy, to the point where my feet are literally blistered to hell because of all of the walking that I've been doing. Let me tell you about my past three days.

Friday - May 8th

I set out at about Noon on Friday with no particular ambition. I got to the tube station and decided on a whim to head to Picadilly Circus. This would turn out to be an excellent decision but more on that in a bit.

The first thing I see after I leave the tube station at Picadilly are the big bright billboards that are seen on all of the postcards. It quickly dawns on me that this area is the "tourist" area of London. There are shops galaore and there are many kiosks available to buy London specific souveniers.

The first store that I wandered into was one called Lillywhites. It was essentially London's version of Sport Chek. They had one of the biggest shoe-walls that I've ever seen. This place had shoes galore; Adidas, Nike, Diadora, Reebok, K-Swiss - You name it, they had it!

I bought a stunning pair of Nike's for 35£ (70 bucks) and immediately put them on my feet and continued walking. I should have asked for a size up, because my feet are covered in blisters now. I guess sometimes style does persevere over comfort, but I digress.

My next stop was to a major London souvenier store where I found some gifts for Julie, and they had a very impressive wall of funny t-shirts. The street also featured a "Ripley's Believe it or Not" building, and the whole street setup was eerily similar to Hollywood Boulevard in California.

I then made my way in Leciester (pronounced LESTER) Square where I was greeted by theatres, casinos and restaurants a-plenty! I found this placed called Hamburger which served me the second best burger that I've ever tasted (The best being a Double-Double from In N Out in Hollywood, CA).

I decided at Leicester Square that I wanted to go and see another movie. At this time it was around 3:00 and I didn't know what else to do. I went and saw Grand Turino, and I was extremely impressed.

After the movie I walked down to Covent Garden where there was a very lively indoor market filled with kiosks. If you proceed further into the Garden you'll notice a great big gray theatre which was showing a performance of Romeo and Juliet. In front of the theatre though is this huge area designed for street performers (more on that in a moment).

I found a three-floored pub called the Punch And Judy. It was here where I began drinking Stella and mingling with the locals. I went out onto the patio and immediately noticed a man wearing a Calgary Flames hat. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if he was from Calgary, he said no, and introduced himself as Marcel. He was British, and had been to Calgary on a business trip a few years ago. He introduced me to his friends Ben and David, and I chatted with them for about fifteen minutes.

I then found myself talking to Dan and Darren, two other British blokes. These guys were going to a concert and were stopping by for a few pints. Together the three of us watched the street performer.

This guy was something else! He was juggling chainsaws, and riding around on a giant unicycle. The only problem was that whenever he finished a stunt, he'd take an article of clothing off. I know. Wierd. He ended up stripping completely down to his purple briefs, and then went around to everybody with an open backpack encouraging them to give him some money.

He then climbed the stairs and came to the top of our patio, where he walked up to the three of us with an open backpack.

PERFORMER: Hey mates, any of you see my show?

DARREN: Yea, and I thought it was shit!

PERFORMER: Well obviously the other people didn't. (He shows us his backpack that has pennies, nickels, dimes, and one five pound note.)

DARREN: Oh... I think you might have 30 Quid! (Meaning, the guy barely had thirty pounds and his display of change did not impress us).

The performer walked off in disgust and tried to finagle money from other patio watchers. I found the altercation hilarious, but it was definitely one of those instances where you probably had to be there to witness the hilarity.

When Darren and Dan left, I walked to Maxwell's Steakhouse and ordered myself a 10 oz Sirloin, with onion rings and a Peroni beer. The meal probably cost me about 30£ or 60$ CDN, but it was brilliant and worth every penny.

After my scrumptious steak I took the tube to Mooregate Station where my cousin Anselm was waiting for me. I found him in a nearby pub, and together we proceeded to have a lot of fun.

My cousin (his sister) Marie joined us about a half-hour later with her college professor. He was an older fellow with gray curly hair, and it looked very old-school. I forget this man's name, but he certainly was a character and I wish I had talked to him more.

My cousin Anselm fancied one of the girls sitting next to us at our table, so being me I decided to initiate conversation with these girls. Anselm and I chatted them up for a little bit, and I got a great photo of my awesome cousin posing with four British Girls. He owes me for that one. I don't think he got any digits.

Marie kept trying to pursuade me to stay in Britain. She's an awesome girl and a really fun girl to hang out with, and I was flattered that she seemed to enjoy my company so much. She left at around 11 because she had to work, but Anselm and I headed back to Picadilly Circus. Our night was not done yet.

We found this night-club at Picadilly that was really fun! We danced a bunch, and he kept coming back to the dance floor with shots of tequila. Anybody who knows me well knows that sometimes tequila and I get in fights, and I rarely come out the winner. This night I prevailed and I didn't let tequila get the best of me.

At around 1:30 we left the club because no girls wanted to dance with Anselm! I'm kidding, I actually don't remember why left - I was probably hungry.

Nowhere good was open so we settled for a 24-hour McDonalds, and I'm happy to report that UK McDONALDS is less rubby, and their Nuggets actually tasted like chicken. I spilt ketchup on my new hoodie though, and I was not happy with myself.

We then debated our next stop. Anselm was quite keen on heading to a club called the Rainbow. He really likes to dance at clubs and apparently this one was really good. The only problem was that he didn't remember where it was, and niether of us wanted to spend all hours on a bus trying to find it. Instead he went up, and got 20 more Chicken Nuggets and we sat and chatted some more.

I want to stop here for a moment and say specifically that Anselm is a beauty, and I'm lucky to have a cousin like him. I know you'll probably read this eventually mate and I want you to know that I really enjoyed your company over these past two weeks.

Oh yeah, and he now knows what the word "broad" means.

We decided against the Rainbow and we took a double-decker bus back towards Kensington High Street. We chatted up a bar-bouncer (who's name I forget) but I remember that he was very impressed that I was a music DJ.

We finally stumbled our way back to the flat that I was staying in at around 3:30 am or so, and he crashed for three hours on the couch and I went straight to bed.

This was one of the most fun nights I've had with anybody in a long time.

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Saturday, May 10

My mouth felt like a speakeasy the next morning. Somehow I woke myself up at around 10:30 and visited briefly with cousin Julia and her roommate Georgie. (sp?)

After I showered, Julia and I went to a nearby coffee shop to meet up with her friend Clem. Clem and I met many years ago when I was in England with my family. I actually spent a few days with cousins Julia and Patrick a long with Clem and her family (I was 10 I think) way back in the day. It was cool to see her after so many years.

It was Julia, Clem and her friend (who's name I forget) and I sitting in a coffee shop, and I've got to give all three girls proper credit - They all have wicked style. A lot of girls in England are into wearing skirts or dresses with the black leggings underneath. I've decided that I like this look.

At that point, I parted from the girls and headed on to Craven Cottage for Premier League football!

Craven Cottage is a gorgeous facility with a ton of football history, yet it's a pain in the ass to get too! I got off the tube at Fulham Broadway, and it quickly dawned on me that I will still nowhere close to the football ground.

I'd like to thank a very patient bus driver, several pub goers and a very nice old lady for helping me arrive at the cottage. I ended up walking through a park near the River Thames in order to get to the stadium, and the walk through the park was very scenic and nice.

My first few moments at Craven Cottage were a nuisance because none of the security people were very helpful to me. I wanted to go to the team shop so one of the security guards kindly walked me towards it's vicinity. I then find out from a different security guard that I can't go in until after half-time! Arrgghh. So then I try to find my seat. Turns out that three different guards had no clue where the "Johnny Haynes Stand" was. I admit that I was quite frustrated because they kept sending me around and around until finally I spotted the gate entrance to my seats.

Any frustration quickly subsided when I finally reached my seat. I was nine rows up from the Pitch, and the weather and field were pristine. I got some excellent photos of warmup, and once the match started I instantly became a proud Fulham FC fan.

COME ON YOU WHITES! That was yelled often during this 90 minute display of brilliance. Aston Villa came in as the favored team, but they looked stunned by Fulham's tenacious defence.

The first goal of the match came in the sixth minute, when a Fulham striker recieved a Penalty Kick and he fired the ball low right corner. The diving keeper nearly stopped it, but it rolled in for a 1-0 Fulham lead.

Aston Villa tied it in the 16th minute with a very nice passing sequence down the right side of the pitch. Villa has a very young, fast team and they showed that to perfection on this particular rush.

It was 1-1 at half, and I admit that I was worried that I wouldn't see another goal. Boy was I wrong.

Fulham scored in the first minute of the second half (46th minute) on kind of a flukey low shot that seemed to trickle through the keeper's legs. They would then add another in the 61st minute to ice the match at 3-1.

My new favourite footballer is Fulham midfielder Clint Dempsey who I understand is a staple on the US World Cup team. I now have a reason to keep track of soccer, and it's safe to say that I am now a Fulham fan.

I went into the gift-shop after the match and I searched frantically for a Fulham jersey, and I was unable to find one. But I think I'm going to buy one online and that will be from my Aunt Trissa who kindly gave me some money to spend on my trip.

I did buy two match programs. One for me, and one for Peter Schaad. It's too bad he supports Villa because they got their asses kicked!

The rest of my Saturday was actually quite uneventful.

I left Craven Cottage and walked towards Putney Bridge. I'm sad to say that it didn't look too familiar to me. My grandpa used to live moments away from Putney Bridge tube station, and I had trouble remembering the exact whereabouts. I bussed and tubed my way back to the flat, where I called Julie and relaxed for a bit.

Cousin Julia was out at a party until about 8:30, so I decided to set out again to Picadilly Circus. I regret to inform that Saturday was much less fun than Friday.

Everybody at the Circus was dressed to kill and ready for a night on the town. I was all set to go back to the pubs in Covent Garden and grab a nice meal somewhere, but everything was just so bloody busy. It would have taken me forty minutes to even get a table at any place that I wanted to eat at, and the Punch and Judy was just too crowded.

To be honest I felt lonely. Nothing seemed to be working out. It was the first and only time on this entire trip that I was genuinely sad to be by myself. I watched all of these well-dressed people walking around, heading to their plays and nightclubs, and I really wished that I had Julie with me so that I could show her this part of London. I don't think I've ever missed anybody quite as much I missed her right then and there.

I killed some time at a Casino for about an hour and had no luck there (Don't worry Dad, I used my own money and no one elses). Luckily cousin Julia texted me around 10 and invited me back to the flat just to hang out and watch DVD's.

The most rewarding part of my night was watching an English show called Extra's with Julia and Georgie.

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Sunday May 10


Sunday was tremendous. It was tremendous, yet so simple.

Julia and I had lunch at this burger place that was dedicated to the Rolling Stones. We had a really good conversation about her work, and I left that meal feeling very optimistic about my day. Any feelings of lonely were officially gone!

I went to the Highstreet Kensington Tube Station and I bought a box of chocolates for my Uncle Sean. It was the least I could do for him being so hospitable and so financially friendly to me regarding this trip. I bought a birthday present for Julie as well, but I can't mention those specifics here.

I then took the tube to Liverpool St, caught a bus, and met my cousin Nicola and her baby girl (Sophie) at Queensbridge. We walked back to her place and then met up with her husband Rob.

The four of us drove into town and parked near their church. We then took a really interesting walk through a trendy, vintage area of East London. There were street performers, and a ton of panhandlers trying to sell bikes, shoes, dvd's and vintage clothing.

Apparently this area of London is known as kind of a "seedy" zone where a lot of gang stuff occurs. I could definintely see that by some of the run-down buildings and shady characters, but all-in-all I found the atmosphere to be quite chill and fun. I know that Dan P would have been right at home in this type of spot with all of the uniqueness.

We then walked through the Bangladesh neighborhood, and I've never been so overwhelmed with smells of Curry before in my life. It was so terrific. The scents of Indian Cuisine ingulfed my nose, and it wasn't long until the three of us (not Sophie, she can't talk) agreed on Curry for supper.

We found a pub near their church and we had a pre-church beer. We then went to an evening service which was really nice. The message was simple yet effective. The Hymns were all very old, but they were catchy, and I admit that I felt really happy to be taking communion with my cousin Nicola and my new pal Rob.

Afterwards we came back to their house and I showed them some of my radio work. We ate some of the most delicious curry I've ever tasted (North Battleford needs a Curry place asap!) and then we watched some Benny Hill on TV.

They went to bed at 10:30, and I've been blogging since then. The time is now 12:10 am, and it's time for bed. Only one day in England remains.

I will be meeting with my friend Heidi from Firwood, where we'll grab lunch and then see some more sites, and then I'm off to Tonbridge for my farewell dinner with my Uncle.

For those that actually read this whole thing - Thank you. It means more to me than you even know.

Friday, May 8, 2009

London Weather Sucks...

I woke up this morning (Friday) to the sound of rain rattling against the window. Up until now the weather during this trip has been tremendous, and yet here I am, prolonging my stay inside to update this blog.

The past two and a half days have been loads of fun, and still very busy.

Tuesday night in Cambridge I went to a choir event called "Evensong" where this teeneaged choir absolutely stunned me with their singing. There was a very small church service and then it was off to the Master's Lodge at Jesus College for a family dinner.

After dinner, my Uncle Robert and my Aunt Margaret introduced me to the show called Spooks. Spook is Britain's answer to CSI or 24 back home, only better. I freaking love this show. I watched two full episodes on Tuesday night, and probably could have stayed up even later, but I had other things I needed to attend to.

I listened to the first period of the Canucks/Blackhawks Game 3 from Chicago, and I got to listen to Shorty and Larscheid call Mayson Raymond's goal! The Canucks won 3-1 and I was momentarily satisfied (more on that in a moment).

The next morning (Wednesday) I took a walk into the Cambridge market place and I browsed into some shops and things. I've been very careful with my money up to this point beecause everythiing in London is so bloody expensive compared to Canada. I know I should probably be a little more relaxed and just ignore the exchange rate, but it's difficult to justify spending 40£ or 80$ on a DVD box-set that has 10 episdoes.

The crazy thing about Cambridge is the fact that there are probably more bicycles than cars transporting throughout the city. Bikes are everywhere! For the first time in my life I actually saw a parking lot for bicycles. But more on that in a moment as well.

I then walked back to Jesus College where my Aunt Trissa was waiting to take me off with her. We visited my cousin Rachel and her husband Roy in a town that was about an hours drive away from Cambridge.

My cousin Rachel has not had the easiest life, in fact she's been burdened with health problems since I can remember, yet she was definitely in top form on Wednesday. She was happy and very hospitable to both of us. I met her three kids: Jessica, Christopher and Bethany and I even ran around and played "football" with them. Christopher wanted to be Manchester United, and I got stuck being Arsenal. I lost the watch 12-5. Shut up.

Trissa and I then went back to her house to enjoy a quick "Prawn Cocktail" before she went off to choir practice, and I caught up on e-mail and watched Lost in Translation.

She returned at 10:00 or so, and then we enjoyed a late Lamb Chop dinner. I watched another episode of Spooks and then I went to sleep.

Yesterday (Thursday) was another memorable day. Trissa and I left her house at around 11:30, and we proceeded to London. It was at the Cambridge train station where I literally saw a bicycle parking lot. There easily had to be 400 bikes parked this one small area. I almost took a picture.

When we got to the tube station she reccommended that I buy an "Oyster Card" for faster use on the undergriund tube. I did so, and let me assure you that it's worked like a charm so far.

I arrived at my cousin Julia's flat at around 2:00, and I immediately set out for the streets trying to find something to buy. I went into a "Top Shop" which I gather is quite popular in London and I tried on some jeans and things, and chose not to buy them because the would have costed me 90 dollars Canadian. However, I may go back and buy them today, because I need to come back with some kind of purchase you know?

I walked around Kensington High Street and then around Notting Hill for close to three hours, and then I got in touch with my cousin Julia who was done with work. Julia and I went to a few pubs around Notting Hill and then we went to "Pizza Express" for dinner.

Afterwards we went and saw the movie State of Play, and it was at the Cinema where I discovered something awesome about Europe.

European Cinema's allow you to drink alcohol inside! Legally! It blew me away that I was able to buy beer at a movie theatre. North America, I hope you're reading, because we need to follow this trend! Either way, the movie was great and Julia and I had a great visit.

I'll admit that this morning has started off as a dissapointment of sorts. I find out that the Canucks lose 2-1, it's pissing with rain outside, and I also found out that Manny Ramirez has been suspended 50 games for testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs.

It's 11:15 AM here, and my only plans for today revolve around meeting two of my cousins for some drinks at around 8:30. I'd better get cracking if I hope to do some shopping, and some exploring.

I'm off to make something awesome out of something rainy and damp.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

From the Garden's of Churchill to the Chapels of Cambridge (Oh.. and some Pubs in Tonbridge too)

The past three days have flown by and there has been a ton of activity. I will do my best to recount my adventures in a fast, interesting manner.

Day 1 - Saturday May 2

After my run-in with an armed robber (read the blog below if you missed the story) my Aunt Trissa and I had a coffee together at a shop in Tonbridge. It's called Cafe Nero and there are TONS of them around England. After a nice visit we went back to my Uncle Sean't apartment where I greeted my cousins Marie and Anselm.

Both are music teachers and both are loads of fun. The last time I went to England (eight years ago) I spent my final night with Anselm and some of his house-mates, and needless to say he showed me a good time.

After a brief visit I changed into my suit and then assisted my Uncle Sean with the purchasing and carrying of the wine for his 70th birthday party. We took the wine to the hall and got it all set up. He bought 25 bottles of Red and 25 bottles of White for the occasion yet only 50 or so guests were expected. Anybody who knows me knows where this is going....

Anselm and I went off to a nearby pub once everything was set up and we killed about an hours worth of time. We swapped stories and I told him of my earlier encounter with a felon and my Ramada Hotel story from a few Christmas' ago.

The party started at 6 o'clock, and right from the start it was a tremendous success. Many of the guests recognized me as "Marty's Son" and they all wished him well and asked about him. Many even recognized me from some of my prior visits. The wine was flowing freely and everybody seemed to be having a marvelous time. For dinner we had beef, wine, ham, wine, potatoes, wine, asparagus (sp?), wine, and an awesome pudding for desert. Did I mention wine? I did? Oh good.

After dinner Marie and Anselm took turns playing the piano and a woman named Mrs. Taylor (I think?) started singing very loudly. Anselm toasted his father and of course I made a speech. I recounted a story about how I used to piggy-back my Uncle while swimming in our old pool, and he called me "Daniel the Great Whale Rider!" Get you're minds out of the gutter if you took that the wrong way.


Anselm, Marie and one of their friends called Andy suggested a trip to the pub after the party had ended, so with this in mind, we cleaned the hall as fast as possible. I don't think I've ever stacked chairs and folded tables faster in my life.

Marie and I headed to the pub first, and we had a great time chatting. Anselm and Andy arrived shortly there after with another man from the party named Dominic. Dominic was from Belgium, and he was extremely quiet and alarmingly French.

That night at the pub I drank FOSTERS and CARLING extra Cold. I met a guy named Andrew and his girlfriend Sarah, and for some reason I decided that I wanted to arm-wrestle Andrew at some point. It was a heated battle with no eventual winner. We wrapped up the night at a placed called "Kebob House" and I ordered a monster Kebab and ate maybe half of it.

The pubs close at Midnight in Tonbridge, and this did/still does not please me.


Day 2 - The morning After

Sunday was a much slower day.

We all woke up quite late (around 11 ish) and watched Uncle Sean open his cards and presents. After some more visiting (mainly with Dominic) Anselm and I headed back to Cafe NERO for another visit with Andrew and Sarah.

I apologized to Andrew for wanting to arm-wrestle him, and the afternoon was very pleasant. We spent two full hours just talking and drinking coffee. The four of us agreed to meet back at the pub later that night.

Anselm and I then went to my Aunt Gerti's (Sean's ex-wife) apartment for dinner. She cooked an excellent Chicken dinner and we simply caught up and I brought her up to speed on my life. Marie joined us a little later for a late dinner as she had been recording music earlier that day with her friend Holly.

It was back to the pub that night where Anselm, Andrew, Sarah, Jeremy and I had a great time. I switched my drinnk to something much stronger (I forget the name) but it's something 'Burg' and it's a 5.4% beer. I told all of my new friends what the word "Chotch" meant, and I probably bought the table at least two or three rounds of drinks. I definitely made a good impression - So much so, that Andrew and Sarah are meeting with me again in Tonbridge Monday night before I leave.

Anselm and I wrapped up the night back at Sean's place with a place of ham.

Day 3 - The House of Winston Churchill

Uncle Sean and I did a ton of touring around. We visited "Chartwell" where the great Winston Churchill lived for a majority of his life. We walked through great big garden's and through his enormous home. There were hundreds of tourists taking pictures and expierencing this place and I've got to admit that I was very impressed. The smell of the garden's were very nice, and I left with a strong desire to buy a plant of some sort when I get home. My Uncle is a great historian, and he knows his stuff, so he spent all afternoon explaining who everybody was, and then he bought me a book of Churchill photos which I've now started to skim through.

We then visited Quebec House, which was where General Wolfe lived back in the 1700's before the Battle of Quebec. I won't bore you with the details, but had it not been for James Wolfe, we all might be speaking French back in Canada.


Sean and I then went to eat at a very nice Pub and then I had an early night.

Day 4 - My Day in Cambridge

Cambridge University is extremely posh and very well respected. I've heard a ton about Cambridge from others, but it's only when you see it for yourself do you truely get the idea of how majestic this place is. There are 20 different college's that create the University of Cambridge and my Uncle Robert is the MASTER of Jesus College. My Aunt Maragaret picked me up from the train earlier today and has since taken me on a massive tour of several of the colleges. I saw Kings College which has a cathedral and a Chapel that would BLOW YOU AWAY! The architecture alone is a site in itself, and we have more touring to do in a matter of moments.

They live in a great Master's Hall and apparently soon I will be going to a Choir presentation, followed by an excellent dinner. I'm getting a ton of exercise, and I actually think I'm losing more weight because of all of this walking around. While I've been drinking like a fish, I've been eating very sensibly, and my clothes are fitting better than ever. I'm off to London on Thursday where there will definitely be a ton of fun to be had.


I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Marmalade, Pay Toilets and other early hilarity.

I am finally over my jet-lag. I touched down in England at 11:30 am on Friday. I took two underground trains, and then a land train to get to Tonbridge.


When I got to a train station called "Embankment" I did some minor exploring. I was also shocked to find out that public washrooms often cost money to use! No joke. It would have cost me 30p to take a piss. Needless to say, I held it in until I got to my Uncle's house in Tonbridge.

Once I arrived at Tonbridge station, I called my Uncle Sean from a pay-phone and he came and got me. We enjoyed a cup of tea, and then he took me touring. He showed me a 14th century Castle with a huge garden. I was actually very impressed.

Afterwards we went and had an apple cider at my Uncle's favourite Pub. It was called "The Spotted Dog."

The plan was to meet up with my Aunt at 6:30 for a Pub Supper. Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it. I went upstairs at around 5:30 for a quick rest, and niether my Aunt or Uncle wanted to wake me. I woke up at around 9:00 pm to realize that nobody was home! I had a glass of water, went back to sleep and woke up at 3 am. I went downstairs and helped myself to a slice of bread covered with Marmalade, made a quick call home, and then called Julie and then read my book for about two hours before crashing again.

I woke up at 10:00 am this morning and was greeted with ham, bread, granola and some excellent coffee.

My aunt and I took a walk into town, and found the library where I am typing this update. I checked out the Canucks website, checked facebook and saw that I'm now fifth on our office hockey draft!


A man named Keith just sat next to me, and he fast learned that I was not British. We talked about music, sports, and then he revealed to me that he was out on "day parole" from prison. He has served nearly twenty years for armed robbery. I know right? He even showed me his Day Parole contract and card.

My aunt is waiting in the library for me, so perhaps it's best that I leave here before I get shanked. Tonight is my Uncle's 70th birthday party. I will blog the details over the next few days.